I am never sure whether I am the alien lost far from home or the kid who befriends the alien. This is the year I learn protagonist and sidekick are not always properly labeled, the year filled with Marlboro smoke and divorce, the year I refuse to tie my shoes. I wait for my body to betray me, to announce my hunger to a disapproving world. Until it reaches the screen and turns back toward the audience, a movie is only moonlight and soundtrack. Light is invisible but without it so is everything else, and maybe this moment is not my life but the reflection of my life. “Penis breath” is the best insult ever written, it’s exactly what we waited in line for. In the dark, no one sees how uncomfortable I am in this body.